Way to fuck, Zack!

Well, I decided it was time for Mr. Kearney to stop having all the fun.

So I was going to start this with a youtube clip from the film Zack and Miri Make a Porno (this is not a review, but I will say that movie is entertaining and worth a viewing; at the chance of losing all my manhood, it was actually really sweet), but I can't find the specific clip I wanted to reference so I will start off with a quote:

"Porn has gone mainstream nowadays. It's like Coke or Pepsi [pause] with dicks in it!"

Mr. Kearney felt that this would be an interesting topic starter for a post I could write about. I disagree, but hell, I enjoy a good challenge. Porn, or pron, as internet geeks like to call it, is an entertainment medium which focuses in on people fucking. There are arguments that nude photography can be considered porn, however I am going to focus on the porn in which people have sex. There are two types of this porn, the softcore, in which the only nudity is of the female anatomy where the women will show her breasts; no penetration in this form is actually shown. The other kind is hardcore where nothing is left the imagination: penises and vaginas exposed, and there are up close and personal shots of penetration.

By now, I'm certain most of you are disgusted and are having trouble continuing on, and that's fine, go throw up and come back later, you fucking prude. You done now? Interested at all? Sweet. 

The thought of pron as mainstream is a little shocking, even to a guy like me, who will peruse porn sites when he is bored. The notion of porn is for masturbation, mostly for men, because, let's face it, most women don't need to see some pathetic little fugly dude railing the hot, fake-boobed chick. Masturbation is something we associate with privacy, so to make an argument that porn is mainstream can seem like a bit of a stretch, but it has been put upon me and I will do it.

Wow, I can't even believe I'm trying to make this argument. Is it pathetic that I'm looking up porn as I write for "research"? Probably.

Everyone likes porn. If you don't watch it to kill off some potential babies, then you might watch it to laugh at it. Because it's hilarious. So is sex. Especially the faces people make mid-coitus (BOOM! another Smith reference). A feminist writer once wrote that we all need to laugh at dicks, butts, and pussies because they are funny. So is it wrong to think it's funny to see the dude who's 5'1" with an impossible 12" dong and screwing the sense out of some 4'9" asian woman with Triple-F boobs? Is it wrong to think bukkake is funny? Is it wrong to think Brazilian fart porn is funny? The answer to all of these questions is very well probably. But I don't care, because, honestly, I think it's all hilarious, and that won't stop me from watching.

That's all for now. Stay tuned for more ridonkulus conclusions.