Sunday, November 22, 2009
This is Hollywood, Baby
It's 2:33 am right now in Tallahassee, FL, far from my wishful residence, however I'm still busy as hell in the Editing Booth, working on a short little (hopefully soon-to-be) YouTube video, ambiguously titled "BID AVG" right now. Until the vid is finished I don't want to spout a lot of nonsense about names and work, though it is being edited which is much further than most of my projects make it out of my head. Gotta say it's bringing back the old thrill of golden age Hollywood: warm and fuzzy.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Califloridian Dilemma
Well I find myself in a most awkward position. It's come time for the NBA Finals to actually begin (okay, tomorrow), and I truly do find my Califloridian tendencies challenged. It's Kobe Bryant and the Los Angeles Lakers versus Dwight Howard and the more locally based Orlando Magic about to face off at the end of a long basketball playoffs journey.
Having watched (amongst legitimate Lakers fans) the entirety of the Lakers' series against the Denver Nuggets (and the awesome "Birdman" Chris Andersen) I feel a real kinship to them. Merely mentioning any kind of amusement at the Birdman's hairdo (spiky mohawk one day, spiky-everywhere the next) I would accumulate an impressive collection of death stares.
But being a native Floridian, the Orlando Magic's tenacity and amazing performances in the faces of basketball giants and overwhelming odds to be one of the more consistent teams in the Playoffs and as long as Howard can avoid foul trouble, they post an epic threat to Kobe's Lakers, who are led by a shaky Bynum and inconsistent Fisher at point guard.
If the Magic play well and solidly, like they have been, they could easily take the Finals, but the President doesn't seem to share this thought process. In a humorous side note, President Obama has picked the Lakers to win in six games over the Magic, interestingly increasing support and attention in Orlando.
As a native Floridian and spiritual Californian, this game will wrench at my very being, but I've dedicated my soul to the Orlando Magic, and hope they can pull a victory. As those hilarious puppet commercials have all ready shown us, Kobe has 3 (delicious) NBA Championship rings all ready. Let's see Stan Van Gundy's miracle workers get some for themselves.
Having watched (amongst legitimate Lakers fans) the entirety of the Lakers' series against the Denver Nuggets (and the awesome "Birdman" Chris Andersen) I feel a real kinship to them. Merely mentioning any kind of amusement at the Birdman's hairdo (spiky mohawk one day, spiky-everywhere the next) I would accumulate an impressive collection of death stares.
But being a native Floridian, the Orlando Magic's tenacity and amazing performances in the faces of basketball giants and overwhelming odds to be one of the more consistent teams in the Playoffs and as long as Howard can avoid foul trouble, they post an epic threat to Kobe's Lakers, who are led by a shaky Bynum and inconsistent Fisher at point guard.
If the Magic play well and solidly, like they have been, they could easily take the Finals, but the President doesn't seem to share this thought process. In a humorous side note, President Obama has picked the Lakers to win in six games over the Magic, interestingly increasing support and attention in Orlando.
As a native Floridian and spiritual Californian, this game will wrench at my very being, but I've dedicated my soul to the Orlando Magic, and hope they can pull a victory. As those hilarious puppet commercials have all ready shown us, Kobe has 3 (delicious) NBA Championship rings all ready. Let's see Stan Van Gundy's miracle workers get some for themselves.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
California Dreamin'
A few days into my most recent Los Angeles excursion, and I felt I'd say a little something about the Entertainment Capital of the World. It's more legendary than actuality. We've all heard the stories, about the grime and grit, the flash and show, the fake boobies, and of course, the fake boobies. Well it's all true and false, all at the same glorious time.
Hollywood has a certain appeal to the rest of the world, and this appeal makes it even more magical in person, especially to the uninitiated, but it takes a certain perspective to really appreciate the fun times of this big city. Studio City and its Hollywood neighbors are great places for the 20-something and 30s crowd, brimming with bars and hot spots. Rocco's Tavern on Ventura Boulevard is a great example of a Los Angeles sports bar, designed like a warehouse with all four vehicle bay doors wide open, and a plethora of HD widescreens peppering the brick walls. Downsides include way too loud selection of music, and an obsession with 80s pop rock, but what can you do?
Another little gem I've discovered in Studio City is Hugo's Tacos, a little unassuming stand that serves three dollar trifectas of tacos with any kind of sauce you could want, and it's quite delicious for a great value. It's located just off The 405 and Coldwater Canyon.
More on my delightful adventures through food and pleasure in the City of Angels will include a very generic touristy exploration of Hollywood Boulevard and Sunset Boulevard naturally. But that might just go into my scrapbook. I really want to talk and discuss the reality of Los Angeles, not the HD panoramic pictures that everyone shows off at birthday parties and shindigs.
And on a real person note, In-And-Out Burger is quite possibly the best fast food in America, and it's all over this city. Hit it up if you've never had the chance. Simple and elegant.
Hollywood has a certain appeal to the rest of the world, and this appeal makes it even more magical in person, especially to the uninitiated, but it takes a certain perspective to really appreciate the fun times of this big city. Studio City and its Hollywood neighbors are great places for the 20-something and 30s crowd, brimming with bars and hot spots. Rocco's Tavern on Ventura Boulevard is a great example of a Los Angeles sports bar, designed like a warehouse with all four vehicle bay doors wide open, and a plethora of HD widescreens peppering the brick walls. Downsides include way too loud selection of music, and an obsession with 80s pop rock, but what can you do?
Another little gem I've discovered in Studio City is Hugo's Tacos, a little unassuming stand that serves three dollar trifectas of tacos with any kind of sauce you could want, and it's quite delicious for a great value. It's located just off The 405 and Coldwater Canyon.
More on my delightful adventures through food and pleasure in the City of Angels will include a very generic touristy exploration of Hollywood Boulevard and Sunset Boulevard naturally. But that might just go into my scrapbook. I really want to talk and discuss the reality of Los Angeles, not the HD panoramic pictures that everyone shows off at birthday parties and shindigs.
And on a real person note, In-And-Out Burger is quite possibly the best fast food in America, and it's all over this city. Hit it up if you've never had the chance. Simple and elegant.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Way to fuck, Zack!
Well, I decided it was time for Mr. Kearney to stop having all the fun.
So I was going to start this with a youtube clip from the film Zack and Miri Make a Porno (this is not a review, but I will say that movie is entertaining and worth a viewing; at the chance of losing all my manhood, it was actually really sweet), but I can't find the specific clip I wanted to reference so I will start off with a quote:
"Porn has gone mainstream nowadays. It's like Coke or Pepsi [pause] with dicks in it!"
Mr. Kearney felt that this would be an interesting topic starter for a post I could write about. I disagree, but hell, I enjoy a good challenge. Porn, or pron, as internet geeks like to call it, is an entertainment medium which focuses in on people fucking. There are arguments that nude photography can be considered porn, however I am going to focus on the porn in which people have sex. There are two types of this porn, the softcore, in which the only nudity is of the female anatomy where the women will show her breasts; no penetration in this form is actually shown. The other kind is hardcore where nothing is left the imagination: penises and vaginas exposed, and there are up close and personal shots of penetration.
By now, I'm certain most of you are disgusted and are having trouble continuing on, and that's fine, go throw up and come back later, you fucking prude. You done now? Interested at all? Sweet.
The thought of pron as mainstream is a little shocking, even to a guy like me, who will peruse porn sites when he is bored. The notion of porn is for masturbation, mostly for men, because, let's face it, most women don't need to see some pathetic little fugly dude railing the hot, fake-boobed chick. Masturbation is something we associate with privacy, so to make an argument that porn is mainstream can seem like a bit of a stretch, but it has been put upon me and I will do it.
Wow, I can't even believe I'm trying to make this argument. Is it pathetic that I'm looking up porn as I write for "research"? Probably.
Everyone likes porn. If you don't watch it to kill off some potential babies, then you might watch it to laugh at it. Because it's hilarious. So is sex. Especially the faces people make mid-coitus (BOOM! another Smith reference). A feminist writer once wrote that we all need to laugh at dicks, butts, and pussies because they are funny. So is it wrong to think it's funny to see the dude who's 5'1" with an impossible 12" dong and screwing the sense out of some 4'9" asian woman with Triple-F boobs? Is it wrong to think bukkake is funny? Is it wrong to think Brazilian fart porn is funny? The answer to all of these questions is very well probably. But I don't care, because, honestly, I think it's all hilarious, and that won't stop me from watching.
That's all for now. Stay tuned for more ridonkulus conclusions.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Dry with a Chance of Rain
Here in the "Sunshine State" it's pouring rain like the ocean decided that it wants Florida back. It seems only appropriate it would do this before I take my hiatus to Los Angeles, CA, where it rains on average only 34 days out of the entire year (not consecutively...hopefully). Forecast for Jacksonville and Ponte Vedra Beach is thunderstorms, thundershowers, showers, baths, and hoses, all with the intention of drowning the upper-middle classes on the beach, and government housing in the city.
Meanwhile the forecast in the City of Angels is partly sunny, always sunny, sunny with a chance of burn, and my personal favorite, burn. You have to understand, I'm Irish, I don't tan, I burn. Though with my luck, I'll find at least 8 of the 34 days on my, oh, 8 day trip. Weather being what it is, and the Pacific being considerably cooler than the Atlantic, the rain will be even chillier. But, alas, such speculation isn't befitting someone of my intellectual reasoning skills, so I shall place my fate in the hands of whatever deities have been reassigned to weather-casting these days.
Meanwhile the forecast in the City of Angels is partly sunny, always sunny, sunny with a chance of burn, and my personal favorite, burn. You have to understand, I'm Irish, I don't tan, I burn. Though with my luck, I'll find at least 8 of the 34 days on my, oh, 8 day trip. Weather being what it is, and the Pacific being considerably cooler than the Atlantic, the rain will be even chillier. But, alas, such speculation isn't befitting someone of my intellectual reasoning skills, so I shall place my fate in the hands of whatever deities have been reassigned to weather-casting these days.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
The Nuggets in the Lake
It's currently the 2nd Quarter of Game 1 of the West Finals in the 2009 NBA Playoffs and it's a slugfest.
There have been big slams, hard hits, long shots, and tricky plays out the wazoo. A double-save out of bounds for the Nuggets let them keep the ball and drag out their double digit lead early in the first. The Lakers saw an old high-school smackdown that took everything in the ESPN announcers to restrain from shouting "DENIED!" And as it currently stands, the Lakers have brought themselves back into the game, but such is the NBA, where more often than naught, it's the last minute and a half that decides the winner, not the second quarter leader.
Whatever the case, my future trip to Los Angeles could potentially lead to me seeing Game 2 at the Staples Center, which would be an amazing treat for me, but regardless of whether or not this happens, I'll definitely be keeping track via the internet, television, or my iPhone. I have to keep on top of this one.
Here's to hoping that King James and Kobe get a chance to square off, once and for all. That's what professional sports are all about. This is the fire that champions are born from.
UPDATE: Despite the valiant efforts and leads of the Denver Nuggets early into Game 1, they couldn't keep Kobe from doin' work. The Lakers won by a basket, 105-103, tipping the balance in their favor for this series early. But it's too early to tell what's going to happen, but here's to those crafty resourceful Lakers!
There have been big slams, hard hits, long shots, and tricky plays out the wazoo. A double-save out of bounds for the Nuggets let them keep the ball and drag out their double digit lead early in the first. The Lakers saw an old high-school smackdown that took everything in the ESPN announcers to restrain from shouting "DENIED!" And as it currently stands, the Lakers have brought themselves back into the game, but such is the NBA, where more often than naught, it's the last minute and a half that decides the winner, not the second quarter leader.
Whatever the case, my future trip to Los Angeles could potentially lead to me seeing Game 2 at the Staples Center, which would be an amazing treat for me, but regardless of whether or not this happens, I'll definitely be keeping track via the internet, television, or my iPhone. I have to keep on top of this one.
Here's to hoping that King James and Kobe get a chance to square off, once and for all. That's what professional sports are all about. This is the fire that champions are born from.
UPDATE: Despite the valiant efforts and leads of the Denver Nuggets early into Game 1, they couldn't keep Kobe from doin' work. The Lakers won by a basket, 105-103, tipping the balance in their favor for this series early. But it's too early to tell what's going to happen, but here's to those crafty resourceful Lakers!
Outside the Bubble
The Hubble telescope, even after 19 years of service, is flying once again. The space shuttle "Atlantis" released the space telescope into orbit once again at 8:57am EST May 19th, 2009. I'm a big fan of all things space, the band Muse's eccentric obsession with this is only part of why I love them. But more importantly, the Hubble Telescope takes some of the most breathtaking images of our universe that could ever be imagined, and this is due to its position outside our atmosphere.
The reason the Hubble can spot such amazing things like faraway galaxies with sterling quality images is because there's less effect of light refraction and variables caused by our otherwise murky atmosphere (don't be fooled by pristine cloudless nights and a sky of stars, that shit is dirty.)
As testament to this amazing machine's reemergence into the spatial realm, I'm going to put a few Hubble pictures up here courtesy of the world wide web's image searches, and let us all gather under our proverbial night skies with a blanket or two and enjoy.
Pass the smores...
Good stuff...
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